For a long time after losing my partner, I couldn't imagine the future.
I could think about tomorrow. I could think about what I needed to buy from the supermarket, who I needed to call, or what time I needed to be somewhere.
But anything beyond that felt impossible.
We had made plans together. Holidays we wanted to take. Places we wanted to visit. Things we imagined doing when life became a little quieter.
Suddenly, those plans belonged to a life that no longer existed.
And I think that's one of the parts of grief people don't always talk about.
You're not only grieving the person you've lost.
Sometimes, you're also grieving the future you thought you were going to have.
It's okay if you don't know what's next
After a loss, people sometimes ask what you are going to do now.
You might not know.
You don't need to immediately create a new five-year plan or decide what your life is supposed to look like.
For a while, getting through the day might be enough.
Eventually, though, you may notice yourself thinking about something small you'd like to do.
Maybe it's visiting somewhere you've never been.
Maybe it's redecorating a room.
Maybe it's joining a club, seeing an old friend or finally trying something you've always been curious about.
These things might seem insignificant, but they can be signs that you're beginning to make room for your own future again.
Moving forward isn't leaving them behind
One of the hardest thoughts can be the idea that enjoying your life means you're moving further away from the person you've lost.
But remembering someone and continuing to live aren't opposites.
You can miss them and still laugh.
You can have a wonderful day and still wish they had been there.
You can make new memories without replacing the old ones.
Your life continuing doesn't make the life you shared any less important.
Let the future be different
Perhaps the future won't look like the one you originally imagined.
That can be painful to accept.
But different doesn't automatically mean worse.
There may eventually be experiences you never expected to have, people you never expected to meet and moments that would have been impossible to imagine during the earliest days of your grief.
You don't have to be excited about the future yet.
You don't even have to know what you want it to look like.
Just leave the door slightly open.
Sometimes healing isn't about feeling ready to move on.
It's simply about becoming willing to believe that there may still be something ahead of you worth discovering.